Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Regena means queen, and queens don't bow to princesses!

     How do you deal with teenage girl angst? I got through one child's issues and now child number two is driving me insane! It's a whole 'nother brand of angst and the mother /daughter bond is taking a serious beating.
     I've tried explaining to her that 'the golden orb in the sky is called the sun, not the Sophie, for a reason' , Nope, not working. 
     This little princess is in a bid for power. She will not win and there will be casualties, trust me. Her freedom, her cell phone, her right to pursue driving, non-essential electricity, her social calendar, my sanity, etc.
     She doesn't think that's what her behavior is all about,  but we all know the score. Apparently, my brain cells have given up the ghost and she knows all, sees all and is the boss of all.
     Let me just say it now, boys are easier!! A blanket statement to be sure, but true!
     Pray for me, wish me luck, send me tips, send me cash for a boarding school, far, far away; heck, even a spa day.......I'll take all the help I can get!!
     Parenthood isn't for the faint of heart, wussies or the weak! Here's to parents everywhere and at every stage of growth! Bravo!!!!! You deserve it!!!


  1. Hey my friend! Sorry I don't have any advice for you. Weird as it seems Kristina and I never went through the mother/daughter crisis. I was a royal pain in the butt to my mom and didn't speak to her for almost a year (everything had to be relayed through my dad) so I only know how to BE trouble, not how to fix it. The funny thing is, I have no idea why I was so abrasive to my mom at that time. Maybe it's a hormone imbalance or something. If she survived me, I know you'll come out of this.

  2. She can't even tell me why she is the way she is, but her life is about to get a lot more complicated if she can't control her mouth!
    Somehow, I KNEW you were trouble LOL
    Not lovin the new background, you?

  3. well, after dealing with the homework from 'you know where', are you ready??? I am: "not totally lame" High praise indeed!

  4. Hey....where did the skeletons go? I was just getting used to them :) So I guess you are just partially lame and not "totally lame"?

  5. Well Sophie's probably under house arrest, but she's going to come home today and ask if she can go away with us this weekend. Up to you! We can get her out of your hair for a while or if you need to suffer through her antics, while she hopefully learns a lesson I completely understand! If it makes you happy, I can make her scoop up all the dog poop!!! ;o)

  6. hahahahahah I thought she was going to Madera with me and be at g-ma's house. If I was going to be really evil, I would have her go to work with her dad.....scooping poop would be easy after that! LOL

  7. Ok, I'm not a total expert but I have two daughters 26 and 23 and we made it through pretty well. Here's my theory: parents need to lead the way, "gently pushing" them to grow up. I had done 12 years of youth ministry before my girls became teens and I studied the parenting that went into the kids that made it through without too much more than a little frustration here and there and the others who completely bucked their parents. Before the bucking even started I said to my girls, "now that you are in jr. high you can do this, this, and this" (movies without a parent; later bed time; a little make up, etc). Or "Now that you are in high school you can do this, this and that". Of course each parent decides the standards, but I gave them independance and freedom to make certain decisions for themselves (within reason). For example, it started in jr. high, by high school they were fully in charge of their clothing-purchasing, laundering, losing or ruining it, etc. it was never really a battlefield and it freed me up from the burden of it. The overall rule was MORE FREEDOM-MORE RESPONSIBILITY. They go hand in hand and when they messed up they lost a little of both. When they proved more responsible, they got back more freedom. They were pretty independent by the time they got their driver's license and with their schoolwork, etc. by 16-17. I think it worked pretty well. Youth group was wonderful because they got to go on lots of trips and be with peers without their parents around and they really experienced independance all in a controlled environment. So don't let them drag you kicking and screaming through the teen years. Let them go-no, push them to go! You think of things you would like to see them doing and maturing in all the while helping them when they need it. They need to be challenged so they won't have time to whine, instead they will feel pretty special that they are getting to do some grown up stuff. Both my girls have finished college while working and are so independant and are making me proud. My only son just started high school so here we go again......and my baby girl turns 13 tomorrow-so two more to go. I hope it goes just as well with them as it did with their older sisters. We shall see.

  8. Berna, I would love to let her go! Pushing her toward Independence is not the issue. Slowing her down and having her be respectful are the issues. LOL
    She's going through a good phase right now. I know it won't last forever(the attitude). Sometimes you just gotta vent and beg for help or you'll go insane.
    She will be a great woman with her qualities, she just needs to remember who's still the boss until she can pay the bills.
    I am all for tons of privileges for tons of responsibility. She only wants the easy half of that equation. LOL don't we all? hahahahaha